The Anti-Gift Guide
Shopping intentionally this holiday season
The holidays are upon us—I’m writing today’s newsletter from a coffee shop in Sutton Place. ‘Tis the Damn Season is playing on the speakers. The tree at Rockefeller Center went up last week, my mom already asked me for my Christmas list (is this a universal thing at any age, or will this stop in my 30s?), and it’s finally cold enough to break out the past-the-knee-length parkas in New York. Even though Saks will not be hosting its holiday light show this year, it sure feels like the holiday season.
And with the holiday season comes increased spending. Americans are expected to spend $1,778 extra on the holidays this year, a 7% increase from last year. I don’t know exactly how much I’ll spend yet this holiday season on gifts yet, but I already have a list.
The best part of gift giving is picking out an amazing gift that the person uses for years to come, or raves about how great it was. The worst part of gift giving is getting something they never use, that collects space, and is a waste of money.
So, thinking ahead this holiday season, instead of sharing a gift guide—since there’s so many great ones already out there—I decided to share an anti-gift guide: three ideas to spend more intentionally and avoid getting a gift they won’t use.
Buy things they already have.
This might sound counterintuitive—why would someone need something they already have? I don’t mean the exact item that doesn’t need to be replaced, but another of something that is replaceable—more of your mom’s favorite tea, more of your friend’s favorite skin care, new and improved pickleball paddles for your brother who always plays. By buying something that the person already uses, you’re guaranteed that they’ll use this gift, too.
Buy a ticket to that thing you’ve been wanting to go to together.
Some of my favorite gifts I’ve given and received were tickets to a show. An experience won’t go to waste, and is the most memorable gift! This one is tricky because you’ll want to make sure the person is available that day—I’ll usually send a cryptic text asking if they’re free that day, and when they ask why, I’ll send a cryptic emoji and tell them to keep the day free. It’s still a surprise when they see what the tickets are for!
Skip the gift.
Obviously, holiday gift giving would be more affordable if we spent $0 on gifts. But the goal isn’t to spend $0, it’s to gift more intentionally. And sometimes, that does mean skipping some gifts—when agreed to ahead of time! With one of my groups of friends, we’ll do a secret Santa—a great way to still thoughtfully give and receive a gift without having to spend hundreds of dollars (and time and stress) to get a gift for everyone.
And most of all, don’t spend too much time stressing about what to get everyone (I know I already have). As cheesy as it sounds, the holiday season is really about the people you spend it with.
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We’re doing donations to local charities in my family this year. Still doing gifts for the kiddos though!
Tickets in general are always a good idea (unless they are speeding tickets, haha!)