You can't fit happiness into a cost of living index
Are VHCOL cities actually that expensive?
The cost of living index rates cities based on a variety of metrics—housing, transportation, food, and more—and ranks them based on the places that are the most to least expensive to live in, with the assumption that in a more expensive city, you’ll need a higher salary. This index helped form the abbreviations VHCOL (very high cost of living), MCOL (mid cost of living), and LCOL (low cost of living).
When people think of the main differences in cost between LCOL and VHCOL areas, the first thing that often comes to mind is the cost of housing. At least, that’s what comes to my mind—I regularly spend more than 50% of my expenses each month on rent. I know this isn’t the case in many other places, but it’s pretty normal here in New York City.
Rent is more expensive in VHCOL areas than LCOL areas (and buying a house is even more expensive). Sure, there are tricks—you can get a great deal on a rent stabilized apartment in New York, and yes, you can pay cheaper rent in the outer boroughs. But at the end of the day, you’ll pay much more in rent for the same apartment in a similarly “desirable” neighborhood in New York City than Atlanta.
But my hot take is that it’s not actually that much more expensive to live in a “VHCOL” city like New York as compared to a “MCOL” city like Atlanta. According to the cost of living index, this is not the case—but let me share my take.
It would be naive to say you can find the same thing at the same price in these different cities, and that’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s a privilege to live in a city deemed “VHCOL”—often the cities people love vacationing in.
But my take is, with a few lifestyle adjustments and a certain mindset, the cost of living adjustment isn’t so crazy—and that difference in spending (and happiness!) can’t be plugged into a formula.
The formula (cost of living calculator—you can play around with different salaries and cities) says the cost of living is 140% higher in New York than Atlanta, meaning you need to make $240,208 in New York for the same standard of living you have on $100,000 in Atlanta, GA.
The cost of living index calculator estimates that groceries are generally 10-25% more expensive in New York. That might be true in specialty stores, but I buy my vegetables from the street cart down the block ($3/big box of tomatoes), and Trader Joe’s has the same pricing nationwide. The cost of living index estimates that gas is 16% more expensive in New York than Georgia—except, I don’t pay for gas, because I don’t drive a car. I might pay $5.80 for a round trip subway ride to work, but I don’t pay a car payment or for car maintenance. Getting a drink or meal out is often more expensive, I’ll admit—but at that cost, you’re often paying for a meal or experience you might not find in a smaller, LCOL city.
The most expensive things about New York, in my opinion, aren’t even factored into the cost of living index:
Our homes are small—house and dinner parties are rare because apartments are small, and with everyone living far apart in different boroughs (and that none of us have cars), it’s often easier to meet somewhere in the middle. Yes, I visit my friend’s apartments, but we’re much more likely to meet at a bar or restaurant.
The fun things are outside our homes. All the things that make New York amazing are outside our homes, and this includes the free things: parks, museums (sometimes), and pop-ups, and the expensive things: Michelin-star restaurants, rooftop bars, and Broadway shows.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in “keeping up” with trends in a big city. It’s not just everyone on social media, but everyone on the street, everyone in the bar, and everyone at the restaurant who seems to live a glamorous life, and it’s easy to get caught up in trying to maintain a lifestyle that’s outside your budget.
The biggest issue I have with the cost of living index is that you can’t plug the same lifestyle from one city into another and expect them to fit into a formula. There’s dozens of other factors on why we choose to live in the cities we do: where our family and friends live, what we enjoy doing in our free time, and what we value in life.
Some people love driving their car and hate public transportation, and some people love to walk everywhere and hate driving. Some people love cooking at home and some people love eating at new restaurants. Some people prefer access to the mountains and some people prefer access to a beach, and some people don’t mind not having either (and some people want both!).
In Dallas, you might expect a new apartment building or a house with a yard, but in Boston, you would expect an apartment on a cobblestone street or in a multi-family home. Yes, an apartment in a brand new building with a parking garage would be more expensive in Boston than Dallas, but that’s not what makes Boston Boston.
Just like you might expect an in unit washer and dryer in Atlanta, but in New York, there’s a certain charm in carrying your laundry down the stairs to the building’s basement (at least, that’s what I tell myself).
If you’re trying to figure out where to live next, I would think outside the cost of living index, and more on how your spending will change in that new city—not just going up or down, but the new things you’ll intentionally spend money on. Every city has something different to offer every individual person, and you can’t fit happiness into a cost of living index.
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As a New Yorker I always reiterate this to my friends in other cities! Yes my rent is higher but I don't have any car expenses, and my apt pays for a good chunk of utilities and any maintenance which really adds up. Someone else shovels and ices and mows the lawn. My building has laundry on every floor which I actually love because I don't pay the electric for it! And when they say oh well you could have a yard in middle of nowhere blah blah, I say yeah but then I'd have to live there.
I feel like just accounting for the CoL somewhere completely leaves out other important factors like how happy you are somewhere! Would I be healthier if I ate only "clean" foods every day? Maybe in one sense? But my mental health would suffer and that's a whole other factor. When I lived in a LCOL area I found I spent my money on things I didn't want as much as a form of entertainment because I was missing the art, culture, and experiences of other places. It all comes out in the wash, I think.