I Lost My Job and the World Kept Spinning

Being vulnerable about losing a job, because hearing others' stories is how I got through this time myself.

Thanks for checking out Ten Dollar Latte! I’m not a financial advisor, just a 27-year-old trying to afford life in NYC. I write about how I spend my money while enjoying a $10 latte.

It was Friday, December 29th, 2023, at around 10am.

“We really need someone who can be on site, and we plan to find someone to hire out there. It’s in our best interest to part ways.”

Let me back up to where this all began. I’ve always worked at startups, and I’ve joked to my friends that it’s crazy that I lasted this long without getting let go from a company. High turnover is pretty common in startups, and the ones I worked at were no exception. At previous companies, I survived Covid furloughs and layoffs, a boss who came into my team and wanted to clean house so he could hire his own team, and standard corporate layoffs. Some of this was due to my work ethic, but honestly, this was mostly due to luck.

For the first five months at this most recent job, I was pretty content. My boss was great—kind, understanding, and truly someone I looked up to. My coworkers were smart and easy to work with, and the company was so small, we didn’t have unnecessary meetings. I had joined the company before the launch, and I was getting to work on some projects I’d never been able to at the other, later-stage startups I’d worked at previously—projects that were really cool and I was super excited about. Best of all, I truly loved the products we were working on and was so excited to bring them to market.

At around the five-month mark, just after launch, things started to fall apart. My boss got let go unexpectedly and I was shouldered with a lot of the work she’d previously done. Others got let go for various reasons, and the company culture shifted. But hardest of all, although I’d been hired as a remote employee, my work travel increased exponentially.

Our products were packaged a couple states away from New York, and I was constantly asked to travel out there. There were many reasons I hated this—the facility where we packaged our products was also a vape production facility, so the smells gave me headaches. Eating out and working long days at the facility made me out of shape, tired, and lethargic. The work I was doing out there was familiar and easy for me—I wanted a challenge, and it was the opposite. But worst of all, I missed being home with my friends and family, in the city I love.

I vividly remember returning home from a 4 day trip, lugging my suitcase up to my 4th floor walkup, and collapsing by the door, sobbing. That was when I realized I had to set boundaries for myself.

Ultimately, I told them—finally insisted—I couldn’t travel significantly anymore. For a couple weeks, this was fine, but then they kept asking me to travel—even to move. I held my ground, and that’s when December 29th, 2023 came, and that quote from the beginning of this note rang in my head.

I was surprised because even without the travel, I thought I was providing value to the company. I was disappointed because even though I’d seen it happen to others before me, I’d hoped that was short-term, not a lasting trend. I felt insecure in my skills—was I not worth it to the company?

And honestly, I felt relieved. I would never have to do that travel again. I was proud that I had stuck up for myself. But I was also scared—scared of what the future could hold, scared of not having a steady paycheck, scared of what people might think.

If you’ve lost a job, you might have felt some of these emotions, or maybe a dozen other ones. Part of why I wanted to share my story is because I’ve spent the past few months watching YouTube videos—“I quit my job with nothing lined up” “I got fired—here’s what happened” “I got laid off from [insert big tech company]”—and I finally feel removed enough that I can start to share my story.

Hearing other people’s stories made me realize that I’m not alone in all these feelings, and that so many others have dealt with this situation, these emotions, and dealing with the aftermath. If you have your own story, and are comfortable sharing, let me know in the comments.

What’s next for me? Yes, I’m applying for full-time jobs. But I also finally have time for myself.

I have a side gig at a local spot in the neighborhood, which doesn’t bring in much but is so much fun. I started writing on Substack, which brings in $0 but has provided me so much joy and allowed me to connect with an incredible community (you all!), and maybe someday I’ll make money here. I’ve been spending most of my time working on my party game company, Sidetracks, because this was just the excuse I needed to spend some time working on something for myself.

There’s one other emotion I’ve felt strongly during this period of growth. Gratitude. You might think that doesn’t fit in with the others, but let me explain. I feel so grateful that I was able to save up some money living at home a few years ago, that I can survive without a full-time income for a short time now. I feel so grateful that I have this time to go for an afternoon walk, take a 10am workout class, and meet a friend for brunch on a Friday morning. I feel so grateful that my family and friends have been so supportive through this transitional period in my life.

For now, when it snows on a Tuesday at noon, I can walk around Central Park and enjoy the snow before it turns into a pile of slush.

Losing something makes you grateful for what you have left, and what opportunities that loss has provided you. And when I get too lost in my feelings (me right now, sitting at my laptop, crying as I think about how grateful I am), I remind myself: the world keeps spinning no matter what.

Thanks for reading! I post weekly on Mondays about living in NYC, personal finance, and growing my small business. I also post a monthly reset on the 1st of each month sharing everything I spent money on the previous month and goals for the next month. My small business is called Sidetracks—it’s a collection of party card games I designed. Grab a game to make your next happy hour unforgettable.